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How You Doin'?

Tucker Miller | President and Founder of Day 6 Leadership, LLC

“How YOU doin’?” - That was Joey’s catchphrase on the classic sitcom Friends and it was good for a laugh. Outside of a sitcom and in today’s reality, it’s a question we need to be asking each other and, most importantly, ourselves.

So . . .

Really, how are you doing?

  • Are you frequently at odds with the people around you?

  • Are there things that you are avoiding or resisting?

  • Have you found yourself increasingly intrigued "quiet quitting"?

  • Are you working to please others over taking care of yourself?

Executive presence is rooted in self-awareness. That's why it's important for you to take stock of both your emotions and your behaviors.

Begin with self-Compassion; grow in understanding

The preceding list points to typical trauma responses: fight, flight or freeze. Most of us are familiar with these. We get in arguments, we run away, we become overwhelmed.

There is an additional response to also note: "fawning." Fawning refers to people-pleasing as a way of attempting to remain safe and secure. Testing for any of these four types of responses offers a useful diagnostic when asking ourselves:

How am I doing . . . really, really?

Am I pleasing others at the expense of my own well-being? What could I do differently to feel better?

Invest in Your Leadership Capacity

Leaders must be able to care for themselves in order to show up calm, confident, resilient and in service. Putting yourself on your own to do list can take many forms: getting outside, talking to a friend, working out, engaging a coach — even cooking a meal together with family or friends. The simple, daily decision to do something each day to help you feel better -- even just 1% better -- has the potential of yielding significant compounding results.

Putting yourself on your to-do list -- making "feeling better" a top priority could be one of the most powerful decision you make. It's how you lead yourself, and prepare to be an example to others.

When you are able to be more centered and calm, you’ll likely find that others around you are too. That’s the kind of leadership we need today.

Day 6 Leadership, LLC is a consulting and coaching company specializing in helping to prepare women leaders for expanded responsibility, influence, and impact.

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